Self Love
We constantly measure our worth, but we are often not aware of how we do it. Sometimes we measure by our careers, our appearance, and other times by our relationships. We also inadvertently measure our worth by comparing ourselves with others. When you know who you are—and you’re pleased with the person you have become, you will surely experience a sense of peace through life’s bumpy ride.
I have learned this lesson the hard way. I am a people pleaser, and I let that determine my worth for the longest time. I always felt like I had to prove myself as worthy of everyone for everything. I did things that made others happier than they made me. I did this so often that I lost track of what I valued.
Thankfully, I recently realized that these sacrifices set me up for disappointment. I decided that what made me happy mattered more than pleasing others. I am still a work in progress, but I now try to measure my self-worth based on my own sense of self rather than how other people perceive me. It is a tactic I have put in place.
According to George Simon, author of In Sheep’s Clothing, beware of people who try to control you, stroke your ego to get what they want, tell lies, ignore you, make you feel guilty, put you down, play the victim, or cause you to doubt yourself. These energy vampires leave your emotions drained. If you take an honest assessment of your current friendships and family members, chances are you will find one or two of them there. Rather than chasing them to make the relationship work, distance yourself
Things That Don’t Determine Your Self-Worth
While it is normal to feel proud of your accomplishments, basing your entire self-worth on your achievement is like building a house on an unsteady foundation. This outrightly means that you would be afraid of taking certain actions because you are afraid of failing. You’ll need to experience constant success to feel good about yourself—and that means you’ll likely avoid doing things where you could fail.
Now let’s look at the things you should endeavor to desist from
1. Your Job
No matter the type of job you have or how much you love (or hate) it, your job doesn’t define who you are as a person. The cliche, there is dignity in labour, supports and adopts that all types of jobs are respected equally, and no occupation is considered superior and none of the jobs should be discriminated against on any basis. Regardless of the size of the paycheck or conditions of work, it is held that every job deserves respect. And it is your sacred duty to let this live in you.
2. Your Social Media Following
So what if you don’t have a million Instagram followers or Facebook likes? In this digital world, it can feel like that number determines your value, but you’re more complex than what anyone can see on a screen or social media.
3. Your Age
Speaking of numbers, your age is just a number. Some people may say you’re too young or too old, but that’s just who you are at the moment, so just be it and glow accordingly. Feel good and confident at any age.
4. Your Appearance
If you want to change the way you look, do it for you. But know that your physical appearance shouldn’t define how worthy you are. “A beautiful body or a handsome face won’t last forever. Hair loss, wrinkles, grey hairs, and a middle-age spread can feel catastrophic for someone whose self-worth depends on their physical appearance. That shouldn’t be. Don’t get yourself worked on nature’s cycle. Glow in it.
5. Other People
I am guilty of comparing myself to others who do the same thing I do and others my age. But I’ve learned I have to manifest in my own lane—and so should you.
You do you. Let them do them. Sometimes others may pass you on this road called life and that’s OK. We’re all traveling at different speeds. The most important is to get there.
“Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn’t have the time to sit around and talk about you. What’s important to me is not others’ opinions of me, but what’s important to me is my opinion of myself.”
6. Your Grades
Maybe tests freak you out or school is just really difficult. Your grades don’t determine your intelligence, and they don’t measure things like your dedication and integrity. And they don’t typically determine your worth especially in a bizarre country like ours.
7. The Number of Friends You Have
The more friends the merrier? Sometimes. But whether you have a ton of friends or just a couple, what matters is how you treat one another and if you can turn to them in times of need.
The fourth regret of the dying is that they were too busy to make time to see their friends. A real friend is someone you can turn to for sympathy when you need it, confide in about most things, and be your true self around. You don’t need to chase them because they’re already there. Make it a priority to stay in touch and make sure to let go of friends that don’t worth your time and effort.
8. The Money (or Lack Thereof) in the Bank
Whether you’re a billionaire or don’t have much in your wallet, the amount of money you have or are making doesn’t define your worth. “Going deep into debt to create a façade of wealth backfires in the end because while goods and services have monetary value, they don’t reflect your value as a human being,”
Conclusion
Bottom line: Your worth is entirely up to you. You are worthy because you say you’re worthy and because you believe it. Look within, and trust that you are enough.
Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist on yourself on someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
People with low self-esteem tend to suffer from a lot of dating issues. They have a harder time setting boundaries and don’t believe they deserve healthy love.
Because of this, they end up chasing love rather than experiencing it as it comes. They’re more likely to try to convince people why they should be chosen, rather than asking themselves if they even want the people they date in the first place.
They’re the people who find themselves in messy relationships or unhappily dating. They stay stuck in their ways because they don’t believe they deserve more.
But for people who realize their worth, they don’t invest energy into people who aren’t interested in them. They don’t bend over backward to convince someone to love them. They don’t inflict unnecessary pain on themselves.
When you recognize your worth, you recognize you deserve more than one-sided love, which includes yourself. You stop looking to other people to care for your unmet needs and start meeting them for yourself.
Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter, and working on our passions.
